Did you know that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime? Did you know that domestic violence is the 3rd leading cause to homelessness among families? 4,774,000 women in the United States experience physical violence by an intimate partner every year. Each year, 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths are caused as result of domestic violence. Domestic violence is not just physical. Abuse can also be sexual, psychological, emotional, and/or financial. Digital Abuse and stalking also count.
How do you tell if it’s considered abuse? Chances are if you feel like you’re being abused, you are. However, here are some ways an intimate partner can abuse you. Please note, there could be more ways than what we are going to list for you.
- Insult you, put you down, and make you feel terrible about yourself.
- Control you in any way possible whether it’s with finances, who you are friends with, where you go, or what you do in general.
- Scare you, whether it’s the way they talk to you, look at you, or act toward you.
- Put their hands on you in any way that is harmful such as pushing, shoving, hitting, choking, slapping, and even when they act like they are going to do it whether they do it or not.
- Making huge life decisions without you in expectation for you to just “go with it”
- Draining you completely whether it’s physically, mentally, or financially.
- Preventing you from pursuing your dreams like going to school or working.
- Destroy your property such as your cell phone, car, TV, and etc.
- Threaten to kill you, family, friends, or even pets.
- Attempt to encourage you to drop criminal charges when you do try to get justice for yourself.
- Constantly threaten to commit suicide so you won’t leave them.
- “Borrow” your car and then bring it back ran down with an empty tank.
- Force you to do drugs just so that you would have something in common with them.
- Cause you to get into trouble of any kind even though you did not participate in any of the activities.
- Force you to have sexual relations with them even after you have already said no.
- Stalk you whether it’s your social media pages or you physically.
Like I’ve said before, there are plenty of other ways someone can abuse you. These are just some we came up with to show examples.
Why do they abuse the person they love?
I know you’re asking yourself, why does someone abuse the person they love? It’s all about power and control. At some point in this person’s life, they felt completely powerless so they find someone or something they can control just to feel that power. It all starts with a simple rude comment. They will continue to put you down until you have lost all of your self-confidence. Then they start telling you how nobody will ever love you the way they do or nobody else would ever want you. It’s a trap to keep you by his side no matter what they do. Once they feel like you’re weak, the abuse gets worse possibly even physical and has led to death before.
Long lasting effects on the survivor.
PTSD- post-traumatic stress disorder is a common effect on someone who was abused. The constant reminder of the event can cause hyperventilation, panic attacks, and anxiety.
Anxiety- constant nervousness when meeting new people or just being out in public can happen.
Depression- an abuser usually lowers the self-esteem of the one he is abusing. This can cause great amounts of depression including suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know is having suicidal ideations, please seek medical attention such as going to an ER or therapist.
How to get help.
Find a battered women’s shelter in your area locally. People do donate to those shelters just as they donate to the Goodwill so you don’t have to pack your entire room just the essentials. They will also help you file a police report along with a restraining order and will keep you safe until your abuser is taken into custody.
You can call the Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233.
Seek a therapist for mental health effects.